You're My Sanity
by BellaJake0127
Summary: Lara has returned from Yamatai but is suffering from extreme PTSD. Her feelings for Sam are growing. Will Lara give into her feelings and let Sam be her sanity. Had to repost story due to major glitches.
1. Chapter 1

Here is my new story. I just finished Tomb Raider and I just loved what they have done with the character of Lara Croft. Since the reboot is AU, I thought I'd change things up a bit like her butler and other characters. I hope you all enjoy this and please review.

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Chapter 1

Croft Manor, felt so cold on nights like this even if it is summer time. I sit alone on my balcony, wrapped in a blanket looking out at the full moon. I take a sip of my tea and sigh to myself. It had been one month since I returned to the United Kingdom from Yamatai. God, the place still sends me chills. My therapist comes once a day and discusses with me the events that took place. She has diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have to take medicine once a day to help with the nightmares and mood swings. It's about time for my pill and I know Henry, my butler and caretaker will be up to give me my medicine. In fact, I hear his footsteps on my balcony. I turn and try to smile at him. He looks tired. His once dark hair now greying on the sides. He stands tall at six foot and no longer so skinny but a bit of a belly.

"Lady Lara."

"Yes Henry."

"Your medicine." He hands me the tiny white pill.

I take it and with one swallow with the aid of my tea it goes down and disperses into my system. I look back out at the moon. It looks so calm here...unlike there where everything had a hunger and thirst for blood. Flashes of my first kill haunt me, the hole in his head, the visibility of his brain to my bare eyes. Oh all the men I killed, how I relished in it and looked forward to putting a bullet in their heads. I look back at Henry.

"All the things I've done Henry...I just can't...you'd be so disappointed."

"Lara..." He bends down and looks at me eye level. "You had to survive. I know you are not proud of what you did but...but you had to, and I'm glad you are home. If I lost you..." His voice chokes. "If I lost you...I would be devastated. I promised your parents I would take care of you...I promised them that I would raise you into a wonderful, brilliant woman if something happened to them and I did that." I see tears welling up in his green eyes, he pushes back a strand of my hair behind my ear.

I look at him and nod and gaze back over at the moon. He stands back up and rests a hand on my shoulder. I sigh and try to keep out all the negative memories from my mind. They haunt me every waking moment of the day.

"Do you want to know something?"

"What?"

"One of the last things I remember Roth telling me is...You can do it Lara, after all you're a Croft. Well maybe I wish I wasn't a Croft...after all look at what its done. Look at it Henry! It's gone to shit! Roth, Grim, Alex...they are all fucking dead! Look at me...I'm going fucking crazy!I can't, I can't..." I just start bursting into tears.

I feel Henry's arms around me and he holds me close. His hand rubs my back as I sob into his shoulder. I grip onto him and just let my tears cover his white dress shirt. I hear his soft voice, giving me words of encouragement and telling me that everything will be fine. I want to believe him...Oh how I want to believe him. Maybe in time, I will and everything will be fine.

"Thank you."

"I'm always here for you."

He stops and looks over at my graduation photo I have placed next to me. It is of Sam and I together in our caps and gowns smiling so big after we received our Bachelors in Arts degrees.

"Have you told Sam how you feel?"

"No, she would never go after me anyway. I'm not her type. She might be bisexual but she clearly has an interest in the boys."

"Well maybe you can tell her tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I look over at him with a questioning expression.

"Yes Sam called earlier, she said she would be arriving tomorrow. I am to pick her up from the train station tomorrow afternoon."

"Tomorrow." I hadn't seen Sam in oh about a month, she had gone to America to be with her family after they were rescued. "It's been awhile since I have seen her...I'm such a mess Henry."

"I'll be here and this is your old friend Sam...she knows what you went through, she'll be understanding. Now get some sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow." With that he points toward my room.

I get up and wrap my blanket around me taking my picture with me. I walk into my room and set the photo on my nightstand and crawl into my queen size bed. I watch as he closes the glass doors to my balcony and brings down the curtains. He turns off my lights and leaves open my door. He leaves it open due to my nightmares and waking up screaming. Many nights he has had to sit with me to help me fall asleep. Tomorrow Sam will be here. My dear Sam...I've been in love with her since boarding school days but never told her. I've slept with girl just for satisfaction but my love has always been Sam. Sam though will never have feelings for me so the best thing is to enjoy the company of my best friend. Maybe she'll help me bring back my sanity.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone thank you for all the reviews and favorites, I really appreciate it. Here is the next chapter. This one has a lot more to do with the struggles of suffering from PTSD. Hope you all like the chapter and please review!

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Chapter 2

The breeze hits my face. It is nice and warm. I ride my horse, Bucky, through the grounds. We gallop faster and faster, the thrill of the ride. I fill the wind through my hair. I slow Bucky to a trot and then stop overlooking the estate, my estate. I sigh to myself, thinking of all the fucked up shit that has happened in my life. My parents disappeared and our dead, all that fucked up shit on Yamatai. Sometimes I wonder if its me. Am I like a curse and bad things happen to those around me. I pat Bucky on the neck gently. I am so tired, so tired of aching inside, feeling as if it was I that caused the deaths of Grimm, Roth, and Alex. If I hadn't steered us into the dragon's triangle...they would all still be alive. It's all my damn fault. Oh Lara why did you have to be so stupid...so driven to find Yamatai...it was nothing but a bloody hellhole. You just had to prove yourself and look what you did...you cost the lives of three good men. You almost got Same killed as well...oh Sam...my sweet Sam. Something catches the corner of my eye. I look and see a car pull up in the distance and my heart skips a beat. She's here! It's been a month...I finally get to see Sam, my sweet, dear Sam. I turn Bucky around and we gallop toward the manor. The wind on my face, riding boots grip the stirrups. Images of Yamatai enter my mind, running through the wind...trying to save Sam. The chanting of that bastard...Mathias. Shots firing into his flesh...oh god Lara please forget it. I shake the images from my mind and focus on the present. This illness will not take me!

I slow Bucky down to a trot and wave over at the car. Henry waves at me and I see Sam. She sees me and a large smile appears on her face. Oh that smile, her smile. She breaks out in a run toward me. I hop off Bucky and open my arms wide, waiting for her to come into my embrace. She embraces me and my hands rest of her smooth back. I breathe in her scent, she smells of sweet roses. How I've missed this. She pulls away even though I could stand like this forever with her in my arms.

"Hi Bucky." She strokes him gently.

"I've missed you." I utter.

"I've missed you too Lara, being cooped in our home in San Francisco. I've been going crazy just sitting around. Plus I missed my bestest friend in the whole world." She smirks at me and I begin to lead Bucky to the stable.

"It's been quiet here, just Henry to keep me company...and Bucky."

We walk in silence for a while. We had both changed. She wasn't her giddy, always telling a joke type of person. While I...I am a fucked up mess. Part of me just wanted to reach out and hold her hand, to feel her hand in mind. Henry told me that I should tell her how I feel but she'd never go for it. We've been friends since were thirteen...fourteen...hell if I remember. Anyway we had been friends for so long she wouldn't want to jeopardize the friendship. How many times did I want to tell Sam on Yamatai that I loved her...that I love her. I just wanted to say I love you the whole time but never had the courage. I still don't. Probably never will and I will always love Sam from afar. We reach the stables and I take the saddle off while Sam begins to groom Bucky.

"I remember doing this last summer, remember?" She asks me, her brown eyes look directly into mine.

"Yes I remember, we played polo, so much fun." I smile to myself.

"It was." She remarks.

We are silent again as we go about our tasks. Memories flood my mind. I remember carrying Sam all the way to the boat with Jonah and Reyes waiting for us. I remember hearing Sam crying, my heart was breaking from hearing her sobs. The images flash to killing Mathias, the rage that filled my veins, remembering the thrill it felt with each bullet pierced his flesh. I look down and see my hands beginning to shake. I try to shake the memories from my mind but they just keep flooding it. My first kill, the rush of killing others, the desire to kill them all, every single last one of those bastards.I remember my first kill, part of his brain oozing out of his head. My heart rate accelerates. Nausea takes me and I begin to gag.

"Sam." I utter and then I vomit all over the ground in front of me.

"Lara...sweetie." She comes to my aid.

"I'm so sorry...this happens." I wipe my mouth.

"I know Henry explained it." She smiles at me and cleans up my vomit. "Come on let's get you inside, you look tired." She wraps her arm around me and we walk out of the stable, after taking care of Bucky.

Her arm around me feels so wonderful like she is my light through the darkness that I am in, she is the medicine to my illness.


	3. Chapter 3

Here is the new chapter. So sorry it took so long, I have been dealing with terrible pain as my wisdom tooth is coming in. I hope you all enjoy this. Thank you for all your reviews and please keep reviewing!

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Chapter 3

The hot tubs jets soothe my back. I feel so good just sitting here by myself. Sam and Henry have long gone to bed. Lucas, the gardener, is back in the gatehouse. I lean my head back and look at the stars. They twinkle so brightly. Back on Yamatai the stars were never out, it was so cold, cloudy, and dark. Here back in England everything just feels perfect. I used to think that England was rainy and gloomy but now...now this place is paradise. I watch as they twinkle. For once I actually feel relaxed. I smile as I look at them, thinking of so many nights when I never saw their beauty. Beauty... Sam looked beautiful today. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her, especially her cleavage in her v-neck. Oh god, what I would not give to see her in the buff. My hand travels to in between my legs when I abruptly stop when I hear the sliding glass doors open. I look up and see Sam. She stands there in a white tank top and blue bikini panties.

"Lara what are you doing?" She asks grogginess in her voice.

"Just relaxing in the hot tub." I try to grin but am clearly nervous.

"Mind if I join you?"

"What?...No...I don't think so...I mean...I'm in the buff."

"Oh come on Lara, we are both women it is okay."

She takes off her tank top revealing her bare breasts. Oh god, they are perfect. I must look away, I must look away. She pulls of her panties and I do manage to look away from her and back up at the stars. My heart is racing, I'm going to be in a hot tub naked with Sam. I finally look back and she is sitting in the hot tub with me.

"Are you alright Lara? Your face is red and you're sweating."

"I'm fine." I manage to choke out.

She goes on talking about how she's been in the past month. I'm not even listening. I can't help but stare at her breasts, Oh those breasts. They are so perfect...just like the stars. What I would not give to touch them, caress them, to flick my tongue on that erect nipple and...

"Lara are you even listening to me?"

I am snapped from my daze and she just stares at me, her eyes narrowed slightly with irritation.

"Sorry, I was just thinking..."

"About?" She looks at me with concern.

"About...uh...I was thinking...thinking how much I have missed you." I finally manage to utter out.

"Awww, I've missed you too sweetie." She smiles at me and gently touches my shoulder.

My eyes close at her touch, just thinking of what all that hand of hers could touch. My mind wanders remembering kissing this soft hand after rescuing her from Mathias. She looked so weak, dark circles were under her eyes. I held her close, told her I was going to get her the hell away from this bloody hell hole. I remember how much I wanted to kiss her lips, to tell her I love her and that I would never let her go. To kiss those luscious lips... my eyes reopen with Sam's hand still on my shoulder. I want to kiss her, to just forget the horror of Yamatai. To scream out her name in pleasure instead of screaming in agony from a nightmare. No...she does not like girls...I've heard her shagging a lad in our flat...this would never work.

"You know...I think I'm going to go to bed...I'm tired." I fake yawn.

"You need some help?"

No!...I mean no, I'm fine." I grab my towel and wrap it around my body. "I'll see you in the morning." And I run out like I'm being chased by one of the thugs on the island.

I run to my room and quickly shut the door. I drop my towel and just go over this most awkward experience in my life. Seeing Sam naked...wanting to shag her the whole time. That was just the worst experience ever...I mean ever. I'd take going to Yamatai again then dealing with that in the hot tub again. I finally move away from the door and peer out my window. I see Sam get out of the hot tub. She puts on her panties and tank top. She stops and looks up at the window which I quickly step away from. I grab my red bikini underwear and put it on along with my blue pajama bottoms and my blue tank top. I climb into bed and turn off the lights. I stare into the darkness, I hate the darkness...it reminds me of Yamatai. Flashes of memories from that dreadful place enter her mind. Roth's death, holding his body as he breathed his last. Alex...letting him die that way...I could have done something. My first kill...his brain being exposed, the blood oozing out of the wound...my vomiting right afterwards. Bloody hell! These memories, I just want to to forget these memories, but my therapist says I can't bury them but move on from them. I close my mind and focus on Sam, her body as she entered the hot tub. Her voice as she talked, the touch of her hand on my shoulder. I reopen my eyes and the horrible memories are gone. My breathing relaxes and my heart rate goes back to a relaxed state. The demons of my past are gone for now...thanks to my thoughts of Sam. I roll over on my side and sleep visits me.


	4. Chapter 4

Here is the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy! Please review

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Chapter 4

My finger plays with my mother's ring. I have worn it since my parents died. It is her first wedding band. I wear it on my right hand. I endlessly play with putting it on and off constantly. I'm always like this when I'm in my therapy sessions. Talking about Yamatai is never easy, actually...I hate talking about it. Her name is Kate and she is young only about thirty-five. She has long blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. She's actually pretty hot...not as hot as Sam but not bad to look at. She wears business slacks and a white blouse, her legs are crossed in the chair as we sit on the porch overlooking the pool on my estate.

"How did you sleep last night?" She asks me as she sips a cup of tea.

"I slept better than I have." I answer her watching as Sam walks to the diving board in her pink bikini.

"That is improvement, tell me what helped you sleep better?"

"When I started to have flashbacks of Yamatai and made myself think of something else, something pleasant." I watch as her perfect form dives gracefully in the pool.

"Were you thinking of her?" She asks me.

"Yes." I admit and take a sip of my tea.

My eyes continue to watch Sam as she surfaces. She pushes back her wet hair and opens her eyes. She looks over at me, she smiles wide and waves. I wave back and watch as she continue to swim. I look back at my therapist as she watches her swim as well.

"Have you told her how you feel?"

"No...I don't think...I don't know." I look down at my fingers messing with my mother's ring.

"When the time is right. Well Lara..." She looks at her mobile. "Our session is over, keep doing the deep breathing exercises, when having flashbacks stay focused on something else...and don't blame yourself. What happened there...I would have done the same things you did." She looks me in the eye, her face full of caring.

I nod and she gets up and walks off with Henry. I continue to watch Sam swim. She looks so beautiful today. I finish my tea and Sam gets out of the pool and wraps herself in a towel. She walks up to me and sits down in the chair next to me where my therapist had been sitting.

"How did it go?" She asks smiling over at me.

"Fine, sessions are getting better and better." I answer her.

"I'm glad." She leans back in the chair.

She continues to talk and I listen to every word. I love to just hear Sam talk. Her voice is just so calming to me. Last night was the first night I didn't have nightmares and it was thanks to Sam. My thoughts of her kept the dark demons of my past away. Her beautiful brown eyes, looking at me, her gorgeous smile...all those things about her kept the horrors away. I continue to listen to her, talk about this new film idea she has. She always has some new idea for film. She looks at me closely and smiles again.

"Last night...I didn't weird you out did I?"

"What?" Oh my god, did she notice my super strange behavior. "No...no...I was just tired and...such." I manage to get out.

"Good, I was hoping I didn't make you uncomfortable. I...I know you were almost...you know on the island." She looks down.

Memories flash before me. My hands bound in front of me. The smell of fire and ash fill my nostrils. I can see him...that goddamn pig. His hands rubbing my hips seductively, one hand slips between my thighs. I want to vomit. I spit in his face. He punches me in the stomach...hard. I haven't had a woman in so long, that's about to change. He whispers in my ear. I see him undo his pants and comes near me. My heart is racing...goddamn sick fuck! He will not have me! I knee him in the groin. He kicks me and we struggle on the ground. I grab his gun, and without thinking I fire. The memory is just so horrible. My hands begin to shake, I try to think of something positive, I try to free myself from my memories. Come on Lara, stop living in the past. Come back to the present. I focus and see Sam. She's holding my shaking hands I look into her brown eyes, those wonderful amazing eyes.

"Lara...come back...it's okay...you're not on Yamatai. You're here, you're home with me." Her voice is so soft and soothing.

My hands stop shaking and my focus is on the present. I can feel the softness of her hands, they feel so delicate gripping mine. I look down at my hands and then look back up. Her eyes are hypnotizing to me. My lips quiver as I want to just lean in and touch my lips with hers. Oh Sam...I just want to kiss you. To run my hand through your soft dark hair. I swallow hard, and our foreheads touch. I breathe in and focus.

"I'm sorry...the demons from my past always come back." I whisper to her.

"I know Lara...I'm sorry I brought it up." She brings up her hand and rests it on my shoulder.

"I just want to forget you know...I hate remembering that place."

"In time the pain won't be so great, but you will never forget. Yamatai will always be a part of all of us." Her words sound so reassuring.

"I know, thanks for being here...with me."

"I'm always here for you...you're my best friend." She smiles at me.

I pull away and look at her brown eyes. If only you looked at me more than your best friend. If only you looked at me the way I see you. I see the love of my life.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you all for the reviews and faves I really appreciate it. Here is the new chapter, enjoy!

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Chapter 5

I aim my bow, taking a deep breath I see one of those assholes in the brush. I relax and fire the shot, piercing the man right through the heart. I breathe a sigh of relief. I wipe the sweat off my hands and grip the playstation controller once more. Sam sits next to me, recording with her camera. She has been recording me play Skyrim now for an hour. At times it gets really annoying but surprising, I am not annoyed at all by her camera tonight.

"Great shot Miss Croft." Sam comments.

"Thanks." I smile at the camera and decide to save my game and turn it off.

"What no more Dragonborn?"

"Not tonight girly." I put away my controller and sit back down on the sofa next to Sam.

Sam puts away her camera and places it on the coffee table. She looks over at me, her arm resting on the top of the sofa. I look over at her and she just has this curious expression on her face.

"What?"

"Just wondering." She smirks at me.

"Wondering what?"

"What goes on in that mind of yours."

"It's kind of screwed up right now...remember the PTSD. So my mind is pretty boring and screwed up." I answer her, taking a sip of my water and playing with my necklace.

"Your mind is not screwed up. What I mean is what was going on in that brain of yours last night?"

My heart just stops beating. What did she just ask me? I mean we did a lot last night. We ate dinner, watched me play Skyrim, watched a movie, she went to bed and then the hot tub. She couldn't possibly be referring to the hot tub...could she? There is no way she would be referring to that. I bet..I bet she is referring to what I was thinking when I was playing Skyrim last night or the movie we watched. That must be it, don't stress over this Lara.

"You mean when playing Skyrim, well..."

"No not then silly, when we were in the hot tub." She scoots closer to me.

I think I may have just stopped breathing as well. She brought up the hot tub. Oh god...what do I tell her. Do I lie and say, Oh I was just looking at the stars and how lovely they looked wondering what each one is called, or do I tell the truth and say, I was thinking of shagging you and making you cry out in passion. I think lying would be the best option in this case.

"Why are you asking me that? I mean I was thinking of just being in the hot tub, you know relaxing."

"I don't know...it's just...Lara?" She looks into my eyes I can tell something is bothering her.

"Yes?"

"Did you ever on Yamatai...just wonder if...if maybe we are meant to be more than friends."

I am astonished by the words that just escaped her lips. I have wanted to be more than friends since I was sixteen. I wanted Sam to be my first. I have wanted to take her as my date, I have wanted to dance with her in the moonlight, read poetry to her, kiss her lips tenderly, make love to her on satin sheets. Yet to hear those words if maybe we are meant to be more than friends, I have waited so long to hear those words. I swallow hard and open my mouth to speak.

"Sam, I have wanted to hear you say those words for years...I want to be more than your friend." My hand brushes her cheek and cups her face.

"Why was I so blind...how did I not see that you have liked me." She chuckles slightly and brings her hand to grip my other hand.

"You've always been distracted by the big buff guys." I smile at her and feel as if I have just gone to heaven.

"I was so stupid." She leans in and our foreheads rest.

I want to kiss her. I just want to lean in and capture her lips. Feel mine against hers. For so long...so long I dreamed of this moment. Yet I don't want to push her, don't want to force her into something she is not ready for.

"Lara!" She hears Henry yelling for her. "Lara wake up!"

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My eye open and I'm laying in my bed. Sam is nowhere in sight, I can see the sun beams coming in through the glass doors it must be sunrise. I must have dreamt all that. Goddamn it! It seemed so real, I could feel her forehead pressed on mine. I should have known it was a dream...like Sam would ever say that. Lara you can be so stupid. I stretch and look at Henry who is sitting at the foot of my bed.

"Good morning Henry."

"Good morning. I am sorry I startled you but you informed me last night to wake you at sunrise to go horseback riding with Sam." He pulls open the curtains showing more light in.

"That's right." I yawn remembering telling him that last night after dinner.

"Are you alright Lara?" He asks me going through my closet and laying out my riding clothes.

"Yes, just dreams." I get up out of bed and stretch.

"Nightmares?" He looks worried.

"No just the usual ones about Sam." I walk onto the balcony and breathe in the fresh, cool air.

"You still haven't told her how you feel?" He stand next to me and breathes in the air.

"No...I can't Henry. If I tell her... she won't be my friend."

"You don't know that. If you don't tell her you may never know and you'll always wonder what if...sometimes you have to take a chance. Go on Lara, tell her how you feel." He puts his hand on my shoulder.

For the first time since Yamatai...I actually feel confidence.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you all for the reviews and favorites on this story. I really appreciate it! This chapter was a little shorter than I wanted due to another writing project I have started but next chapter will be longer.

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Chapter 6

The wind hits my face as I ride. I slow Bucky to a trot and see Sam slow down Thunder, Henry's horse. I look over at Sam as she smiles at me. I decide this is the spot to have our picnic breakfast. I hop off of Bucky and lay down the blanket on the ground and Sam grabs the basket. I take off my riding boots along with my jacket and lay down on the blanket, Sam removes her boots as well but keeps her jacket on. She rummages through the basket and gets out two thermoses filled with tea. She hands me one and I open it and drink the delicious earl grey tea. I watch as the sun rises and it is clearly beautiful.

"You know sights like this make me forget about Yamatai." I look out of the beauty of the sun rising.

"I know what you mean." Sam states handing me a muffin. "It is just so beautiful this morning."

"It is." I look over at her.

She just looks so beautiful today. The way her shoulder length hair blows in the breeze. The way her dark eyes look as the bright sun hits them. I'd love to run my hand through her dark hair, smell its scent. Kiss her lips, run my tongue down her neck, oh Sam I want to tell you. I want to tell you how much I love you. If you don't tell her you may never know how she feels and you will always wonder what if. Henry's word echo in my mind. Come on Lara you survived Yamatai and all its horrors you can tell your best friend that you love her.

"Sam." I manage to say.

"Hmm." She turns to me while eating a muffin.

"I need to tell you something...something I have been wanting to tell you since I was sixteen but have always been too chicken to say...on Yamatai I realized I need to tell you this...I...I love you." I finally utter out. "I love you."

She just looks at me, her eyes are in shock. She looks down and I see her swallow hard. I should not have said anything, she is clearly not reacting well to this revelation at all. See Lara you should have kept your mouth shut. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Sam finally looks up and I see a couple of tears fall down her cheeks. Her eyes are still watering.

"Oh Sam...I am so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything..." I feel like such an idiot.

"Lara...just shut-up for a moment..." She wipes her eyes and then smiles at me. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hear those words. On Yamatai I realized I loved you... I love you Lara Croft." She smiles and another tear drips down her cheek.

"You love me?" I ask her, my mind still not processing the words.

"Yes I love you." She places both of her hands on my shoulders, her eyes still watering.

The words pierce my very soul and my eyes begin to water as well. I feel a single tear drip down my cheek. I look at Sam's sweet face and then her nice, plump lips. I feel the longing to touch my lips to hers. I lay my hands on her soft shoulders as well.

"I want to kiss you." I whisper to her.

"Then kiss me." Sam whispers back.

I lean in and breathe in deeply. I can see her lips are trembling and mine must be as well. Our lips touch, ever so gently like a feather landing on the ground. I move our lips and she follows me with every step. My hand reaches up to run my fingers through her soft hair. Our kiss deepens and I hold back the hunger that is deep inside me. We part and our foreheads rest. I breathe in her sweet scent of roses and a mix of cinnamon.

"That was really hot." Sam comments a grin on her face.

"It was...really hot." I breathe deeply trying to control the inner lust.

"Can we take this slow...I don't want to rush it." She almost whispers to me.

"We can take it slow." I kiss her cheek ever so gently.

She embraces me, my arms gripping her back, smelling the scent of her hair. I could get lost in this, I feel light kisses on my cheek. Her soft hands grip my back and she buries her face in the crook of my neck. I want to sit like this for an eternity, to just sit here, watching the sunrise, holding the love of my life in my arms. My eyes begin to water and a single tear falls down my cheek. I have not been so happy in so long. Oh Sam, my dear Sam, I love you so much. I just want to yell it at the top of my lungs that I love you and that you are my girl.

"Sam"

"Hmmm."

"I love you." I get up and with her with me.

I lift her up and yell at the top of my voice, "I LOVE YOU!" She giggles and responds with, "I LOVE YOU!" I laugh as well and feel like the happiest girl in the world. My sweet Sam loves me and that has to be best medicine there is for my fractured mind.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you all for all the faves and follows for this story. I really appreciate it!

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Chapter 7

Sweat pours down my face. My hair is wet and I hear thunder rumbling in the distance. My hands are bound in front of me. I try to get free but I am not strong enough...I am just too weak. I hear the men speaking their native tongue of Russian. I wish I had taken Russian now at the university so I knew what the hell they are saying. The leader finally comes up to me. He looks me over, a sick hunger in his stare. I feel the urge to vomit. He grabs me face and looks me in the eye. His hand travels down my neck and slowly cups my breast. His hand continues to travel down my hips seductively and rubs in between my thighs. I spit in his face. He punches me hard in the stomach. I bend over in pain.

"I haven't had a woman in so long, but that is about to change." He whispers in my ear.

I look up at him with a snarl on my face. I watch as he unzips his pants. Goddamn sick fuck. He comes toward me and I have to get away. I have to stop him. Has he gets close enough and tries to kiss my neck, I knee him right in the groin. He kicks me and I take him with me onto the ground. I use my bound hands and smack him right across the face breaking my bindings. We struggle on the ground, I watch as he grabs his pistol. I have to get the pistol. Everything depends on it. I have to kill the son of a bitch. We struggle over the gun and I finally have enough force that I am able to push the gun in his direction and it fires, shooting him right in the forehead. I see blood ooze out of his wound and his brain is visible. My hands shake and I just want to vomit. I yell out in agony and begin vomiting.

"Lara…Lara."

* * *

My eyes open and I see Sam looking at me. Her eyes filled with worry. The light on my nightstand is on, illuminating the room with a soft white light. Her hand is on my shoulder.

"Sam?"

"You were screaming, are you okay?" She asks concern in her voice.

"Yeah...just a nightmare." I sit up and lightly kiss her lips.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She looks at me and pushes a strand of loose hair behind my ear.

"It is the usual one...my first kill."

"You need anything?"

"Can you stay with me the rest of the night?" I ask her.

"Ok." She climbs into bed with me, wearing her pajama pants and our university t-shirt.

I turn off the light and cuddle up to her. I rest my head on her chest, laying on her soft breasts. So many dirty thoughts go through my mind but I need to remember she wants to take it slow. Her hand plays with my hair and she kisses the top of my head lightly. I try to close my eyes and go back to sleep but my mind is wandering, remembering my nightmare and the horrors of Yamatai then back to sharing my bed with the most beautiful woman in the world. I roll over and nuzzle up to her breasts, breathing in her scent of roses and cinnamon.

"I never thought this would happen." I mutter.

"What?" Sam asks still playing with my hair.

"Cuddling with you, breathing in your sweet scent." I look up at her in the darkness.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to realize how much you meant to me." Sam adds.

"I am just glad you realized it and I am glad I finally said something." I kiss her neck.

"Now you get some sleep. I'm very tired." Sam closes her eyes.

"I am afraid I will be plagued by nightmares." I whisper to her.

"You won't sweetie. I'm here with you." She rubs my back with her hand, her eyes still closed.

I close my eyes and listen to her soft breathing, feeling the rise and fall of her chest as my head rests on her soft breasts. I wonder if she has already fallen asleep. I think on my nightmare, my first kill. That man's death still haunts me. I hated him, I wanted to kill him when he was touching me that way. Yet why do I feel guilt for killing him, why does my body gnaw on the fact of all the men I killed. I had to kill them. They killed Grim, Roth, and Alex. They had to pay for what they did and I made them pay. I just want to forget the killing, I want to be able to sleep at night and not have the killings and horrors of that island plague my dreams. I hear her steady breathing and know that Sam is fast asleep, her hand resting on my back and no longer rubbing it. I am so tired but I know that if I go back to sleep the nightmares will return. I cuddle up closer to Sam and my hand grabs her other hand. I hold it close and sleep begins to overcome me.


End file.
